This past Wednesday, I had a wonderful conversation with my coach/mentor. We talked about tasks I’d made progress on, laid out a few more initiatives and discussed approaches and milestones related to making them reality.
It had been an extremely productive week and the momentum was still fueling my thoughts. We were discussing some upcoming presentations I was planning, and I had gone in a few directions. Directions about changing habits; nutritional, emotional, professional, or otherwise. While the intent was to empower clients to move in new directions, take chances and try new things, the messaging was coming across as “don’t do that,” and “don’t do this.” This prompted my coach/mentor to interject and remind me that while what I was trying to communicate was coming from a place of positivity, it would be received as negative and would be better received as a “do” directive. I was stopped cold. Man, she was right!
As a person who has benefited from so much from the realization that everything changes when you do something, anything, to keep moving forward, I was mortified about the “miss.” It wasn’t that I didn’t want my clients to do something, I want them to try anything and everything that keeps them moving forward. But sometimes, you have to let something go first. A person, a value, a belief, a fear, a food, a job. Or, you have to embrace more of something else like self-care, exercise, courage, forgiveness. To make this happen, they have to “do something.” They have to look at something they perceive as a challenge as an opportunity for growth and change. For example:
Yes, please leave that partner who has not supported your personal growth for years.
Yes, please do believe that you are smart enough to start that business or go back to school.
Yes, please do call that old friend you’ve been missing and reconnect.
Yes, please do talk to your boss about that raise you feel you deserve.
Yes, please do take a walk instead of watching the next episode of that Netflix show you’re watching (it will be there when you get back).
Yes, please do take a day off from work to do something just for you.
Yes, please do try a new vegetable instead of getting the baked potato or fries (but tell me, who doesn’t love a baked potato with butter, sour cream, chives… I digress).
But you get the picture. If we spend our lives stuck in the “don’ts,” we’re not getting anywhere. “Doing” something is so empowering. You can track “doing” something. You can celebrate “doing” something. You can share “doing” something. “Don’t” just sits there. You look at it, it makes you mad, sad, or powerless. “Don’t” shuts you down.
So, you may be saying to yourself, “Hey Courtney. You’re a Health Coach and your coach/mentor had to point that out to you,” and you’d be right. I was going in the right direction with my intentions, but she reminded me that messaging is key and to always lead from the positive. In our haste to effect change, even coaches need a reminder every once in a while. We’re all perfectly imperfect.
Is there something that you should “do” to help move your story forward? Thinking about leaving a comment or reaching out to learn how Committed Change Health can support you?
If so, yes, please do!
Take care and be well,
Courtney
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